Another Day, Another Kegel Exercise Misconception
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Dear Men,
I understand there is a lot of confusion about male sexuality in general, and good old Arnold Henry Kegel and his exercises, in particular.
Yes, Dr. Kegel is the man who invented a series of exercises to strengthen the “pelvic floor.”
From Wikipedia: Dr. Kegel was an American gynecologist who invented the Kegel perineometer and Kegel exercises as non-surgical treatment of urinary incontinence from perineal muscle weakness and/or laxity.
Born: February 21, 1894
Died: March 1, 1972
Kegels are not muscles!
Kegels are not a muscle group!
Kegels are the exercises – and only the exercises! – developed by Dr. Kegel.
Strong Pelvic Floor = Ejaculation Control
False.
I wish life and ejaculation control were this simple!
Doing Kegel exercises will not give you ejaculation control. For most men, they will do very little to help in this regard. If you can hold your pee during the day/night without wetting your pants, your muscles are fine.
If you can ejaculate, your muscles are fine.
As I state in this article, the most important thing Kegel exercises will do is to familiarize yourself with this muscle group; point you in the direction of what it is you need to be doing physiologically to help control your ejaculation.
Your Friend the Bulbospongiosus Muscle (BM)
The specific muscle you need to focus upon for ejaculation control is the bulbospongiosus muscle (BM).
The BM runs from your anus, between your legs, to the base of your penis. The BM is instrumental in controlling your pee and poo – and in ejaculating semen from your body.
To experience first-hand how this muscle works, the next time you have to take a crap and a piss at the same time, try to do one, without doing the other: try to stand and pee only, without turning your underwear brown. Or, the safer test, try to sit and crap without letting your pee out.
This cannot be done, because the bulbospongiosus muscle controls both.
The BM is also the main muscle (not the only one, but the main one) responsible for shooting your semen out of your body.
Ejaculation Control Means You Can Overpower Your Body’s Ejaculatory Contractions
Many of you are under the false impression that Kegel exercises will strengthen your BM muscle to the point where you have a vice-grip on this muscle, enabling you to prevent it from involuntarily convulsing during sex.
This is false.
Unfortunately, ejaculation control does not work like that. You can no more strengthen your pelvic floor and/or bulbospongiosus muscle to prevent ejaculation, than you can strengthen your cheek muscles to prevent yourself from sneezing!
As you know, you cannot stop yourself from sneezing, even if your very life depended on it!
Not Even Thinking About Your Mother
The reason we call it the Point Of No Return, is that once your body takes over the bulbospongiosus muscle, and the involuntary, autonomic process of ejaculation is triggered, there is no going back to a pre-ejaculatory state.
Doing 300 sets of Kegel exercises daily will not enable you to override the involuntary contractions known as ejaculation, even if your very life depended on it. And as we all know, sometimes it does!
Guys, as men we love to tackle a problem head-on, preferably with physical action. If I have to do Kegel exercises to overcome premature ejaculation, then by golly I’ll do them!
This is just not the case with ejaculation control. Which is the reason why I focus on the three main aspects of ejaculation control: Mental, Physiological, and Technical.
Mental: know what your are trying to achieve during sex, and how to go about achieving it (not orgasm!).
Physiological: know your body, know your BM, and learn how to control this (not a vice grip!).
Technical: know how to use your body, what positions to use, how to pump, when to pump, and when to retreat (not a jackhammer!).
EXPLAINER: Doing a “Hard Reverse Kegel”
I hear this from you guys on the daily.
If I ask you to relax your hand, can you do so “hard?” Can you really, really relax your hand with all your might?
Of course not. Relaxing a muscle requires you release all muscle tension. There is only so much you can release a muscle. Once all tension is let go of, once you make your hand as soft, limp, lifeless and without any exertion as possible, there is nothing else to be done.
A reverse Kegel is about releasing the BM. It is the absence of any exertion. You cannot does this HARD. There is no “hard” in relaxation.
Forcing Your BM to Release
You cannot “reverse Kegel” your way out of ejaculation anymore than you can clench your way out of ejaculation.
You do have to learn how to move away from your PONR by going toward the relaxed muscle stance you know of as a “reverse Kegel.” Again, reverse Kegel is a relaxed muscular stance: no tension.
Can you stop the involuntary contractions of ejaculation by doing a hard reverse Kegel and forcing your muscles to stay relaxed?
I hope you understand at this point that you cannot do this, anymore than you can relax the shit out of your face to avoid a sneeze. Or clench your way to holding in your poo or pee when you really gotta go.
At some point, the body says, “Sorry bud, but we are leaving the premises, ready or not!”
Learning To Walk and Pee
TO BE CLEAR: A “reverse Kegel” is what you do every time you take a piss. This is a relaxed bulbospongiosus muscle stance.
The reason I make such a big deal about learning to pee while walking around is because this is how you learn to have a relaxed bulbospongiosus muscle. Gaining control over your BM when taking a pee teaches you what the relaxed BM stance is.
As you know, if you are taking a pee, and you try to move your body, your pee stream will be involuntarily cut off. This is your BM clenching without your conscious consent.
Becoming a Ninja pee man means you consciously gain control over this muscle. This control can then be transferred to help you relax your BM and avoid ejaculation during sexual intercourse.
Why Do Doctors Recommend Kegel Exercises?
Doctors tell you to do Kegel exercises to help with premature ejaculation and ejaculation control because they do not know what they are talking about. Assuming your doctor knows anything more about ejaculation control than you do, is an error. They themselves are on my sub Reddit r/ejaculationcontrolNOW looking for help! They have no more ejaculation control than you do!
As your doctor, they feel as if they have to tell you something. They can’t just shrug their shoulders, “I dunno.” Like telling you to lose weight for just about any health concern, recommending Kegel exercises is the automatic doctor response to men who ask about premature ejaculation.
I would like to remind you that doctors used to smoke cigarettes in their offices, during patient consultations! They had ashtrays in their offices. Watch some cigarette commercials and movies from the 50s, 60s, 70s: Doctors agree, smoking Camels are good for your throat!
Doctors who smoked themselves would regularly give advice to their patients on smoking: “Maybe you should try filtered cigarettes to help your sore throat Mike. Or a milder brand. Or just cut down to a pack a day for a little while.” As they themselves would do!
Yes it seems funny now. As does telling you to do “Kegels.”
Please Note: There are men who have conditions and ailments which result in them needing to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles, and who will benefit from Kegel exercises. But these are specific conditions.
And even these men will not need to do Kegel exercises for more than 3 or 4 weeks.
Reverse Kegel is The Ultimate Defensive Measure Against Ejaculation
The relaxed, open muscle stance known as the reverse Kegel, or letting your pee and poo out, is where you want to be hanging out during sexual intercourse for as much of the time as you can.
TO BE CLEAR: It is not possible to stay in this relaxed BM stance anymore than it is possible to clench your way through sexual intercourse to avoid ejaculation.
However, all forms of retreating from your PONR, regaining muscle composure, and relaxing lead to the “reverse Kegel.”
This is where you will return to over and over and over and over again during sexual intercourse.
With practise, you will find it easier to retreat from you PONR, regain control of your BM by relaxing and releasing this muscle.
Your Big, Fat Asshole
Okay it may not be big and fat, but it is still obvious! As stated, relaxing your anus is the same as relaxing your BM, which is the same as a reverse Kegel.
As a short-cut to relaxing your penis and BM, I suggest focusing on your anus because, well, it’s an easy target! You may or may not be able to identify your bulbospongiosus muscle at the base of your penis when having intercourse, but we all know what our anus feels like!
Both must be relaxed to release tension, and keep in your ejaculation.
Quite simply, while having intercourse, bring you attention to your anus, and then follow the BM toward your penis, through your legs and to the base, relaxing this entire area as you do so.
I suggest you mentally relax all the way up to the tip of your penis.
I also suggest doing so every few seconds when starting out. Eventually, with practise, you will retrain your body so that your muscles remember to stay relaxed, and do so naturally, without having to be reminded so often.
Remember: This is a transitional phase. Once you break through to the other side, things become a lot more enjoyable.
Feel free to contact me with questions.
