Easily Understand a Reverse Kegel With This Training

One of the first bodily functions we learn to control is our pee. You probably don’t remember being challenged by it, but you were. We all are.
Subconsciously all men know that to hold your pee, you need to clench, and specifically, clench the bulbospongiosus muscle (BM). This is the same muscle the body takes over involuntary to create the powerful contractions we know as ejaculation.
This is why we automatically try to clench our BM muscles to avoid ejaculation: Unconsciously, clenching “down there” means holding in.
But this is the opposite of what men must to do hold their ejaculation.
Pee requires we clench to hold, and relax to release.
Ejaculation is the opposite: clenching leads to the involuntary contractions of ejaculation, whereas relaxing the BM is what we must do to prevent ejaculation from occurring.
Doing a “Hard Reverse Kegel”
Releasing the BM, relaxing it, is what many refer to as a “reverse Kegel.”
I’ve had some men tell me they do a “hard reverse Kegel.” This is contradiction in terms, OKA an oxymoron, like “jumbo shrimp.”
You cannot relax and release “hard.” If you make a fist, you can squeeze it hard, clench it hard, but when it comes time to release this clench, and relax your hand muscles, this cannot be done “hard.”
You cannot relax hard, any more than you can clench to relax. If you are clenching, you are not relaxing.
Yes, it is much easier to clench than to relax, as clenching is active. Releasing is not active. It is the opposite. It is passive, inactive, inert, floppy, and without form. Think of a lifeless piece of steak, which is muscle.
Which is why I suggest you focus on your pee stream to gain control of your BM, and your ejaculation.
Relaxing to pee is the same relaxing you need to achieve to hold in your ejaculation.
Learn How to Pee As You Walk!
As I shared in Book One, I learned to control my pee stream quite serendipitously in summer camp. As I often found myself late for breakfast, I began practising walking through the woods to the dining hall while peeing, to save time and ensure I made it to breakfast before they locked the doors!
Since walking around your neighbourhood with your dick hanging out while taking a pee might draw more attention to this exercise than is necessary, I suggest you practise in the shower!
Surprisingly Difficult
I’ve received many email from men telling me they find peeing while moving around in the shower very challenging, and are unable to do it.
Remember: If you can hold in your pee during the day, and release it at the appropriate time, you have control over this muscle!
Start Small
You can practise this exercise every time you take a pee. Walking the in the shower may indeed be learning to run before you can walk, with pee control.
Whenever you are taking a pee, start practising with small, unrelated body movements while maintaining your pee stream, without clenching to cut it off.
Find movements you can do with ease, without cutting off your stream, and then gradually move on to bigger movements which you find more challenging.
For Example:
- moving your head from side to side, up and down
- making facial gestures, singing out loud
- moving your free hand and arm
- swaying your hips from side to side
- moving your torso back and forth
- shuffling one foot
- bending one knee slightly, and then the other
Build up your movements gradually, starting with these points of greatest ease.
Is This Really Necessary Mark?
Yes it is.
To put it bluntly: if you cannot gain control of the bulbospongiosus muscle when doing something as mundane as taking a pee, how can you expect yourself to accomplish this control under the challenging conditions of hot, sweaty, passionate sexual intercourse?
As you will discover, the Defensive Measures you have at your disposal to pull back from your Point Of No Return and avoid ejaculation, all bring you back to the ultimate state of ejaculatory relaxation: anus, bulbospongiosus, abdomen are all relaxed and muscles released.
Fully relaxing and releasing your entire groin can feel like completely letting go to take a pee and a poo. You will in fact do neither, but it will feel like this.
The routine you will return to over and over again while having sex will entail relaxing your entire groin and surrounding area, moving from the back of your body to the front.
Start at your anus in the back, where your bulbospongiosus muscle begins, and then follow this muscle between your legs to the base of your penis, relaxing as you go. Moving up from the pubic bone in the front of your body, relax and release your lower abdominal muscles.
Use breathing to bring your awareness to your lower abdomen, and consciously release any tension in this area.
It is also helpful to keep reminding yourself to relax your buttocks, upper thighs, lower back, and shoulders.
When masturbating, be sure you spend some time watching how you tense your abdomen to induce ejaculation. Practise use your breath to unlock your lower abs. Breathing deeply, with control, be sure to feel your lower abdominals release, as if you are letting your gut out after a huge meal.
You will not be able to maintain a released stance indefinitely during sex, just as you cannot clench indefinitely to stave off the contractions.
Your sexual excitation will constantly force you to clench as you are stimulated. This is a good thing!
Each time you approach the edge of your PONR is filled with great pleasure. Pulling back and regaining composure will become second nature. As will the shivers of pleasure, and subtle, orgasmic energies you experience and gather along the way.
Having to pull back and relax is a normal part of ejaculation control. With practise:
- your muscles learn to be relaxed much more than they are clenched
- relaxing is more familiar and easier to attain
- your muscles learn to relax and release faster
- you no longer clench as hard to begin with
- you no longer have to make big moves like pulling out to get relaxed
- the edge of your PONR is not nearly as precarious, and you are much better at balancing there
- like getting the hang of using the gas pedal and brakes when driving, you no longer push so hard at the start, and know how to gently apply the brakes as necessary, when necessary
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