How to Find Your Edge of The Point Of No Return
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Whenever I ask for directions, and the person tells me, “It’s just ahead, you can’t miss it!“, my immediate reaction is: “You think I can’t miss it? Oh I can miss it alright. Just watch me!”
When you experience uncontrolled, involuntary, premature ejaculation within the first three minutes of inserting your penis into a woman’s vagina, you do so because you are unable to detect the signs of oncoming ejaculation, or what we refer to as the Point Of No Return (PONR), and take the appropriate Defensive Measures against it (read below).
The PONR is the point at which your body’s autonomic nervous system takes over the control of your ejaculatory muscles and releases your semen and sexual energy. Just like sneezing, once you hit the PONR, there is nothing you can do to prevent ejaculation from occurring.
What Is Your “Edge”?
Think of the Point Of No Return as going over a waterfall on a kayak. As you paddle along the river, there is a point where the current becomes too strong for you to move against it, and your efforts to steer away from the waterfall are overpowered: Your kayak is pulled involuntarily over the waterfall, whether you want to go or not.
Your “edge” would be the amount of distance you need to maintain control of your ejaculation and safely steer your kayak away from the waterfall, without being overpowered by the current. As a beginner at ejaculation control, you will need to allow yourself a large, comfortable edge between you and the PONR to safely remain in control and avoid the waterfall of ejaculation.
Why You Do Not Feel The Warning Signs of Imminent Ejaculation
At the moment, you are jumping into your kayak and paddling as fast as you can toward the waterfall, wondering how to avoid being pulled over the edge as you speed towards it.
You do not feel the warning signs of ejaculation because the ejaculatory process has already begun, even before you have gone inside of her. It’s as if you are experiencing a prolonged ejaculation which begins before insertion.
As you prepare to enter her for intercourse, you have unconsciously tensed and primed your body perfectly for ejaculation, just like you habitually do when masturbating. There are some men who can tense so expertly that they come off in their pants while kissing, and for others, it’s within minutes of vaginal entry.
When ejaculation control practitioners such as I instruct you to take defensive measures when you feel like you’re getting close, it does not work for you, as you never feel like you’re getting close.
It’s hard to prevent ejaculation when there is no space between “under control,” and “ejaculating.” You go from “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine” to involuntarily ejaculating.
Or in some cases, you can feel it coming on quickly, but you don’t know how to prevent ejaculation from happening – what kinds of defensive measures and maneuvers are available to you so you can last longer in bed, for her pleasure as well as yours!
How to Find Your Edge
Can a 1.5-2 minute man with a hairpin trigger ever learn ejaculation control? Absolutely, 100% Yes! I was such a man once myself, which is why I know of what I speak. I scratched and clawed my way to the Magical 20-Minute Mark, and I didn’t even know it existed! But you do.
When it comes to sexual intercourse, if you cannot detect your PONR, and are dealing with quick, involuntary ejaculation within minutes of vaginal entry, then you must do the following:
- Assume you are already primed and ready for ejaculation before you have even touched your penis to her vagina.
- Assume you are unconsciously tensing and pushing yourself toward ejaculation.
- Anticipate the onset of quick, sudden ejaculatory contractions, and be ready for them.
- Take precautionary measures by focusing and relaxing before you put your penis into her vagina
- Never just stick it in and start pumping!
Do not put your penis inside of her until you have consciously brought yourself down from:
- hyper-excitation
- hyper-tensing
- hyper-sensitivity
- hyper-nervousness
Proper Entry Techniques Are Crucial
By sticking your penis inside of her and pumping away like a jackhammer you have already sped past three stops signs and blown two red lights without the slightest notice. And although the cops are on your tail, lights flashing, siren blaring, you pay no attention and just keep on pumping!
Never just stick your penis inside of her and start pumping away. Not only is it guaranteed to make you ejaculate in seconds, but it is also of no benefit to her. In fact by doing so, you are squandering a golden opportunity to build sexual energy in her, which is the true goal of proper fucking.
Nothing should go inside of her vagina before your penis. No fingers in there! Building sexual energy in her means you are going to tease and deny, not please and comply. The anticipation of sexual intercourse builds sexual energy.
Penis-In-Hand Technique
You will use the “guided entry” approach to sexual intercourse from this point forward, until you have found your edge and can take effective Defensive Measures to keep away from your PONR during intercourse.
With penis in hand, you will play outside her pussy before entering her. This will allow your privates to get to know each other slowly, but most importantly, you will use this time to allow your penis to acclimate to the joyous, ejaculation-inducing bliss of her sweet, wet opening.
Although you will be stimulating her, your focus is entirely on your own levels of excitement, and making sure to take the time you need to relax.
When learning to find your edge and stay away from the PONR, you will only enter her under highly controlled circumstances, with relaxation and awareness of your ejaculatory muscles being your only concern.
With your girl on her back, legs spread:
- position yourself comfortably between her legs
- lean to the side, over her thigh, not over her body
- with your penis in hand, get close enough to her vagina so the two can easily touch each other
Do a body check before you start rubbing your penis to her vulva.
Constant body checks are essential to maintaining ejaculation control.
In the early days of training, you must be hyper-vigilant. You will continue to repeat these body checks with every movement, shift in position, pulsation you feel throughout the entire night.
Remember: Finding your edge of control and learning to take effective defensive measures is a transitional phase. This is all new, so it feels very cumbersome and distracting. But over time you will do the body checks unconsciously, just as you now unconsciously tense for ejaculation.
Defensive Measures – Body Check to Gain Control:
Beginning with the assumption that you are right at your edge as you are about to enter her, relax your:
- Abdomen: bring your awareness to your abdomen, releasing tension and relaxing just below your belly button.
- to do this:
- take controlled, deliberate, deep breaths to ensure you are not holding tension
- be sure to push your abdomen out to breathe in, and squeeze it in to breathe out, using it like the bellows that it is
- make a sound when exhaling – “Ooooohhhh,” while consciously releasing the energy in and around your abdomen, penis as you do so
- making a sound helps release the energy so it easier to manage in your body
- Bulbospongiosus Muscle: is the muscle we use for holding our pee, poo, and ejaculation.
- start by consciously relaxing your anus, which is a short-cut to relaxing the entire pelvic floor
- follow this relaxation from your anus along your perineum to the base of your penis shaft – all of which is the bulbospongiosus muscle
Just the tip, please!
Once you feel relaxed and ready, while holding your penis in hand, push the tip only against her opening, holding it there to feel the sensation and body check to regain control.
Move the tip away from the opening, body check to regain control. The next time, place a little more of your penis inside, hold in place with little to no movement, then remove.
Slowly, over many minutes, enter your penis a little more, hold and breathe and relax for control, making small, slow, easy movements, and then gently remove your penis with control.
This is the rhythm of all ejaculation control: you stimulate until you feel your edge approaching the PONR, then you reduce stimulation, regain control through relaxation, and take another run at your edge.
Maintain Your Focus: in these early days of training losing focus can result in an immediate ejaculatory release, so stay mentally sharp! Without the mental decision to hold off – no matter what! – you will be overpowered by the sensation.
Going all the way inside of her, taking one initial stroke, then holding and regaining control, doing a body check, breathing, and moving a little more should take you at least halfway to the Magical 20-Minute Mark.
Defensive Measures Once Inside of Her
To maintain your edge once you have gone inside and have begun exploring movement, use these defensive counter-measure to regain control:
- pull your penis out entirely if you are too close
- pull out with a sharp, lightening-fast retraction of your hips
- clench down hard on your bulbospongiosus muscle as you pull out, and the release just as hard afterward
- kneel or stand up to help control the energy
- taking secondary measure as need be after you pull out, such as
- grabbing your penis by the base and squeezing hard, to create discomfort
- stop all movement, and ask her to do the same
- grab her ass tightly and pull her very close if need be, to make sure she doesn’t move
- she’ll just think you’re being passionate, not realizing you are struggling like hell!
- slow down your movements
- shorten-up on your strokes, taking small half-strokes, or less
- lighten up on your pumping force
- instead of in-and-out try going
- side-to-side
- up-and-down
- or in a circle
- use different pumping ratios: four easy, gentle pumps, with one harder, repeat
- take a dive down between her legs and buy some time while you get her even more revved up!
- bring your pumping to a halt and focus on other things
- use fingers to tease her clit
- kiss her nipples
- rub her inner thighs
- give her a smile
- stick your finger in her mouth
- or….
Conscious Ejaculation Release:
The First Personal Milestone of Masculine Sexual Energy
There are Four Personal Milestones on the road to becoming a Post-Ejaculatory Man.
Your first clue that you are making progress is when you are finally able to make the clear and conscious decision to ejaculate during intercourse, because you are ready to do so, and not because ejaculation “just happened,” and you were unable to avoid it.
By the end of Book One: I’ve Stuck It In. Now What? you will be on your way to completing the second Personal Milestone of Masculine Sexual Energy: Going Beyond the Magical 20-Minute Mark.