The #1 Condom Mistake Every Man Makes
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Yes, I’m guilty of this too!
We get back to our apartment with her, immediately start making out, strip and end up in bed. Within approximately 10 minutes of walking in the door we are reaching for the condom, although we’re not fully hard or ready.
Why are we in such a rush to put on the condom and get to intercourse? You may have been waiting months for this moment, trying to get with this girl, and now all you want to do is hurry up?
Let’s Get This Over With
You’ve done the hot and heavy making out.
You’ve done the strip, and are now naked in bed.
You’ve given her digits, and possibly a tongue, as she has to you.
Time: 10 minutes!
I know what you’re thinking, as we’re all thinking along the same lines: If I can get my “kinda hard, sorta ready” erection inside of her, it will rise to full size because it will feel so great.
Wrong. For many reasons. Here are a few:
- Your erection has not been given enough time, fed enough sexual energy, experienced enough sustained passion for it to get suited up in a condom and go deep sea diving.
- If your erection is barely fit for such a task, then her pussy is not ready either!
- Putting the condom on too soon will affect your confidence, as you blame your penis, feel apologetic, fear you have ED, wonder what is wrong with you, etc.
- Putting the condom on too soon will make your dick sticky and squishy, which will drain whatever sexual energy is left between, and set you back
- Wasting a condom early in the evening may cause you even more regret later on, when you are finally ready to go, but don’t have any condoms left!
- if you are rushing to intercourse, then you are rushing, which is a major factor in ejaculation control and/or erection issues.
Important Transitional Moment of Sex
This is a pivotal moment in a sexual scenario: the transition from the initial excitement of “Holy shit she’s here and we’re naked, having sex!”, to the next phase of sex.
Please ask yourself this: What would you do in that moment, if you weren’t reaching for the condom?
We reach for the condom and intercourse because we don’t really know what to do next.
It is at this exact moment when we actually start having sex, and that is the scary part. Instead of reaching for the condom, what we need to be doing is opening ourselves up to our partners, establishing connection, and expressing our authentic sexual desires.
This is the time to get down, not cover up. It is at this moment we need to start getting each other more excited and turned on, building the sexual energy necessary to explore the deeper levels of desire.
Up Close and Personal
It is often more comfortable to speed things along and skip through all this “authentic sexual expression stuff”, than it is to face the challenges, fears, and intensities of the emotions and vulnerabilities required.
There is no need to speed things along here. There is a need to slow them down, however, and allow your erection, and her excitement to build and grow to much higher levels before you even think about intercourse.
Instead of rushing toward the condom, this is the moment to… get quiet and still, or talk, or hold each other close, look into her eyes, kiss her neck. Allow yourself a moment here. Take a second to feel your excitement of having her beautiful naked body lying next to yours; run your hand along the contours of her curves, smell her neck, whisper into her ear.
Your only intention here is to enjoy the moment, her presence, and allow the sexual excitement to slowly, gradually build between you.
Set Yourself the Challenge of Waiting
Intercourse is there. You are going to do it. She wants to. You want to. It has been invited to the party and will not be left out in the cold. So relax!
However you will put off having intercourse and playing with condoms until the sexual energy – and your erection – is strong enough to withstand two condoms and a plastic bag over your dick!
And not a second before.
This is your moment to take the lead here, set the pace, the tempo, and the temperature. She may want you to stick it in, and you may want to, but you now know better.
Before you reach for the condom, you shall have a raging, dripping, aching hard-on, and she shall be wet and swollen. Ideally on her knees, begging you to fuck her.
If we must put a time on it, and I would prefer not to, but everyone wants to know. So think roughly 20-30 minutes of foreplay, warm-up, get-to-know-each-other time, say hello, sink in, get sexy, feel the energy.
Hotter and Sexier
Building sexual energy is much more about teasing, than pleasing.
Which is why you never do things like ride her clit non-stop, or finger fuck her before you’ve stuck your penis inside.
You want to create a real need down there. The first rule of building sexual energy is that you are not, I repeat NOT trying to get each other off. You are trying to do the opposite! You are trying to get each other hotter, and hotter, and hotter, BEFORE you stick it in.
Start using these moments to express your authentic sexual desires: what is it you fantasize about? What is it you like to do? What positions do you want to try, locations, costumes, scenarios, and what are hers?
This is the time to start expressing, exploring, and playing!
One of the affects of porn is that we all have this idea of how sex is “supposed to” go: I lick you, you blow me, we fuck, I cum on your tits. Let’s watch Netflix.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen that movie a few too many times! Be sure to avoid this script at all costs.
Sex is mutual exploration, a physical expression of emotion and desire. The more you make it your own, following and expressing your sexual energy, feelings, and authentic desires, the better it will be for both of you.
The Condom Is Your Friend
In the end, the condom is really your friend. He’s telling you that you are not ready. That you are going too fast. That there are so many fun, hot, sexy things to do, before, during, and after intercourse too.
Instead of focusing on your erection and the condom, turn to her, and build enough heat and excitement to take you through the night, with many, many condoms getting well-used along the way.
