How Soon is Too Soon to Ejaculate Before You Meet Her?

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Learning how to control your ejaculation while having sex and sexual intercourse with a woman is about learning how to manage your sexual energy.
Sexual energy is the force which powers your erection, your desire, your need for sex.
Ejaculating before you have sext is probably a good idea if you are running “hot”:
- have large amounts of sexual energy coursing through your veins
- you feel very revved
- are extremely sensitive
- ejaculation occurs quickly
The question is, how close to the actual deed should you do this?
No Fap For Ejaculation Control?
Ejaculation is the release valve of sexual energy. Which means holding in your ejaculation will increase your sexual energy, allowing it build. Ejaculating will let your sexual energy out, decreasing it.
This is why “No Fap” does not work for ejaculation control. And in fact, doing so makes it much more difficult.
Sexual energy, like hunger or fatigue, builds up on its own. You need do nothing more than go about your day to have a steadily increasing supply of sexual desire.
No fap will increase your sexual energy by keeping it in and allowing it to build. Using no fap to help with ejaculation control is like holding in your pee to make it easier to control your pee: a clear contradiction.
How Close is Too Close?
Let’s say you know you are going to have sex with her on Friday night. When is the ideal time to have your final ejaculation before you meet with her?
In general terms, I would recommend ejaculating within a 24 hour period of the live event. This means your last ejaculation before intercourse should be somewhere between Thursday night, and Friday night.
Letting your sexual energy build for longer than this (last ejaculation Wednesday or earlier) is too far. When Friday night rolls around, you will be filled with cum and sexual energy. This will make ejaculation control more challenging.
However, ejaculating Friday night, within an hour or two before meeting her, or Friday afternoon, will probably be too close.
Just Get It Over With
I do know of men who will purposely ejaculate almost immediately upon entering her, with the hope of regaining their erection and desire without the need for any kind of real refractory period*.
Although ejaculating this close to meeting her may work for you, or may work under certain conditions, I do not recommend it at all. I would classify this habit of draining yourself very close to sex as a temporary or emergency measure. This is usually needed for specific situations, like a new partner.
Ejaculating this close to the event is not a sustainable form of sexual energy management in the long run. It will not lead you to making advances with controlling your ejaculation. Nor will it address the fundamental issues with learning to control your ejaculation.
Avoiding The Psychological Affects
Besides the physiological challenges and pitfalls of draining yourself just before having sex, there are psychological implications which can become even more detrimental than struggling with quick releases and early, involuntary, premature ejaculations.
I have ejaculated the morning of, only to find I had experienced an unusually massive orgasm which left me so thoroughly drained that I spent the entire day and most of the evening before meeting her obsessing about the fact that I had no desire left!
I couldn’t shake that “post-ejaculatory” sensitivity in the tip of my penis which prevents us from getting excited again, all day long. I spent the day feeling as if I had just cum a few minutes before.
Under “normal” circumstances I usually had no issue ejaculating a few times in the day. But the pressure of knowing I was going to have sex that night, and the mental anguish I experienced wondering if I could get my desire back in time, drove me crazy.
Getting Into Your Head
Now paranoid, I would go to the bathroom and check my dick all day to see if I could get another erection. Of course trying to turn yourself on at work during a pee break is not ideal for testing your level of excitation.
You can see how this would really start to wreak havoc mentally. Had I experienced such a huge orgasm because I was really excited about seeing her, and had blown all my energy for her that morning? Was this mental? Was I just freaking myself out, overly concerned and unnecessarily focused upon what my penis felt like?
Yes, definitely!
My preoccupation with this would snowball into obsession, plaguing me all day and right up until I was lying naked with her.
The Ideal Time
For most of us, ejaculating Thursday night for a Friday night hook up, is the most reliable way to go about this. There is very little chance of still being drained the next night, with the possible downside being that it does not take enough of the edge off to have an real affect.
Definitely better to err on the side of caution!
Yes, It Will Return!
One thing is certain in all of this: You will get your desire back! It may take minutes, or it may take hours, but it will return.
Involuntary, early, quick ejaculations are not the end of the world, end of your sex life, or even end of that sexual encounter.
If you do lose it early – and you will! – then remember: Most women have absolutely no idea what it means to ejaculate, what it does for your libido, how it will affect your erection, or how long you will need to get your boner back.
All they see is your reaction and your attitude to this event. If you do not get dramatic about it, they will not either. If you keep on going as if it is a small detour on an otherwise long and lovely trip through the land of sexual pleasure, they will too!
When it happens, I recommend you:
- stay calm
- stay in the moment
- do what you can to stay with her, stay close, stay sexy
- do not get angry at yourself
- do not put on a big show of disappointment
- minimize the impact by downplaying it
- fully expect to get it back
- look for other, creative ways to keep the sexual energy alive
- focus on her until you get hard again
*Refractory Period: This is the amount of time required to regain your sexual desire and ability to get an erection after ejaculation