Ejaculation Control When Intercourse Is New
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Learning to control your ejaculation is no different than learning any other form of physical manipulation, like learning to hold your pee when little, or ride a bicycle, kick a ball, do a summersault.
When you are starting out on your new sexual life, having intercourse for the first few (many) times, you encounter something new: mental, emotional, and physical stimulation on your penis like you’ve never felt before – or imaged to be possible, and the affects this has on inducing the ejaculatory process.
Discovering that having intercourse for more than a few seconds/minutes seems impossible, most of us immediately deem ourselves to be premature ejaculators (I did!), imposing a death sentence upon us, and our newly-burgeoning sex lives.
The first few (many) times you get on a bicycle you will struggle to master balance. The same goes for every other physical maneuver you’ve mastered in your life, including mastering control over your ejaculation.
Lifelong Faller
You don’t take a surfboard into the water for the first time, fall off, and then run to the doctor: “Doctor I think I’m a lifelong faller, I can’t stay on a surfboard. Is there anything you can give me?”
You probably don’t remember teaching yourself to ejaculate in the first place, but you did have to figure that out too. And if you’ve perfected ejaculating, you can perfect not-ejaculating.
Just as everyone can learn to ride a bicycle, every man can learn to gain control of his ejaculation.
Up to now you have probably been focused on the pleasure of making yourself ejaculate, without much thought to anything else. You are probably unaware of the physiological pushings and pullings, squeezings and releasings that you’ve taught yourself to facilitate ejaculation easily and efficiently.
In fact, you have probably achieved a Pro-Shooter Status! So you see? You are good at this!
The 3 Key Aspects to Ejaculation Control
Sexual intercourse with a woman is a sensual experience like no other. Mind, body and soul are overwhelmed with sensations which stimulate all 5 of our physical senses, including our biggest sexual organ: the brain.
Premature ejaculation, or what I prefer to call unwanted, or involuntary ejaculation begins as soon as we start having sexual intercourse, and mainly because we do not knowing what the hell we are doing. This is why men of all ages needlessly struggle with ejaculation control and pleasing their partners by lasting longer in bed.
Tackling ejaculation control now, naturally, by learning what proper fucking is, will reap you lifelong rewards, like having non-ejaculatory orgasms.
What I refer to as “Proper fucking,” is achieved when these 3 Key Aspects to ejaculation control are used:
- The Mental
- The Physiological
- The Technical
The Mental aspect of ejaculation control covers strategy, like what are you actually doing once you’ve stuck your penis inside of her vagina? Why are you rushing? If you think pumping away for a minute will result in her orgasm, think again.
Making the mental decision to hold off ejaculating no matter what! is just as important to ejaculation control as the physiological.
The Physiological aspect of ejaculation control requires you to learn about your own body’s ejaculatory system. Learn to read the signs and signals of your Point Of No Return, which is when the involuntary process of ejaculation takes over your.
You will learn how and when to use the Defensive Measures available, like clenching, relaxing, breathing, slowing and more, for holding in your ejaculation naturally, enabling you to last as long as you want in bed while experiencing more pleasure than you thought possible.
The Technical aspect of ejaculation control deals with how you manoeuvre your body during sex. Proper entry techniques (as described below) are essential to preventing premature ejaculation during the first 10 crucial minutes of intercourse.
This is when the penis is most sensitive and prone to premature ejaculation, when it just “comes out of nowhere!”
Techniques for touching her, building sexual energy between you, holding sexual energy in your body, and enhancing the pleasure you both experience are explored in great detail.
What Will Your Progression Look Like?
If you think about this like you would about going to the gym for the very first time, you will get a good feel for the kind of progression you can expect.
Like with the gym, you will experience immediate results with ejaculation control, starting with becoming aware of your physiology, moving and testing your body/penis in new ways, getting to know your own needs for control.
All this and more is covered in Book One of the series, “I’ve Stuck It In. Now What?”, available on Amazon > or Google Play > or iTunes >
What will also have immediate affect on your ability to control your ejaculation is your understanding, awareness, and implementation of Proper Entry Techniques, which I discuss below, and in Book Two, “The Ins and Outs of Proper Fucking”, available on Amazon > or Google Play > or iTunes >
If you are able to practise intercourse on a regular basis, like going to the gym, you will see immediate results between your new intercourse approach, and your ability to gain control of the gears, levers, and muscles involved with your ejaculatory process through masturbation.
This is a Temporary, Transitional Phase
Until you start having intercourse, just like taking a surfboard out for the first time, you don’t know what to expect, or what it will feel like:
– expect the entire thing to be more sexually exciting than you can imagine
– expect it to be very difficult to hold your ejaculation
– expect your ejaculation to rise up so quickly and unannounced that you are taken by surprise
– expect it to be about exploration and discovery
Ideally, the first few (many) times you have intercourse are about exploration, experimentation, and figuring out how it is done. For men, specifically, these first experiences with intercourse are all about learning to control your ejaculation, and little else!
Do not expect yourself to live up to all those warped images you’ve seen in porn. Instead of giving her the ride of her life, you will be hanging on to your ejaculation for dear life! This is normal and natural.
Ideally your first experiences with sex and intercourse are with a trusted partner you like and are attracted to. An attitude of eager sharing, mutual exploration, and discovery is the best approach: no one has anything to prove here.
Remember: the goal of sex and intercourse is pleasure, fun, self-discovery, mutual-discovery. Go slowly, and then slow down, followed by taking your time, so you can enjoy the ride.
As the feeling of being inside her vagina, the feeling of being with her, the feeling of sharing in physical union with another, the physical maneuvers of sex and intercourse all become more familiar to you and your penis over time (weeks/months), controlling your ejaculation will also become more familiar.
Good Habits: Proper Entry Techniques
“Good habits gentlemen, good habits!” was the cry of my little league baseball co-coach.
It is so very important to establish “good habits” of proper fucking at the beginning of your sexual journey, to ensure you avoid so much difficulty down the road. Far too many men struggle with the title of being a premature ejaculator, when in fact, they just need some coaching.
It is the first 1-3 minutes of entry which are crucial, as this is usually when most guys lose it, which is why the following entry techniques are vital. These initial minutes are then followed by the next crucial minutes, all the way to the Magical 20-Minute Mark, which is when you start to feel some sweet relief.
I cannot stress these Proper Entry Techniques enough:
– never jab/plunge/shove your penis all the way, or even partially in
– plan on taking many minutes to finally get the whole penis inside
– using your hand to move your penis, start with simple touching of your tip to her outer lips, and nothing more, focusing on control
– with your hand on your penis, play your penis around the outside of her vagina, acclimating your penis, taking your time to maintain/regain control
– when calm and controlled, use your hand to dip the tip of your penis inside her opening, moving slowly, with control being your only guide for speed
– focus on nothing else during these first few minutes other than relaxing, calming, breathing into your penis, anus, scrotum, abdomen, groin, buttocks
– use your hand to guide your penis a little further in, relaxing/retreating/slowly pulling out all the way to regain/maintain control
Take as much time as you need all the way along, with your only concern here being controlling your ejaculation. Go beyond the Magical 20-Minute Mark of entry, do other things while cooling off.
And, making sure she is ready! It may be too early for her as well. Make sure she is wet and swollen with desire. Oh yeah, and begging you to stick it in, before penetration can happen.
Once these new, good habits are established, which may take up to a few months, depending on how often you practise, it becomes a matter of honing, perfecting, advancing, like with any physical endeavor. There is no secret here: practise makes perfect, and you will fall along the way – don’t sweat it!
Like with all new bodily maneuvers, these basics of proper entry may feel awkward, embarrassing, and amateurish, when in fact they are fundamental to proper fucking and ejaculation control.
And as you will discover, these will greatly enhance both of your experiences with intercourse, building sexual energy, creating intimacy and heat, while maintaining your ejaculation.
As a novice, the first few (many) times you have intercourse, all of your focus must be on your penis and rising ejaculation. Nothing else! Not her.
Believe me, I know how cumbersome this may feel as you struggle to gain control to enter and stay inside her, which is why I strongly suggest your first few (many) times are with someone you can be comfortable.
But struggling for control is a far better option than losing control. Do you best, and don’t expect to bat 1,000, nor be disappointed by it.
Keep in mind that all of these maneuvers will be enjoyable for her too, new experiences for her to explore as well. Remember that most of her sensitive, pleasure-inducing nerve endings reside in and around the vulva, which is the outer folds and lips of the vagina.
When you do pull out to regain control, take some time and explore things like tickling her clit with the back (avoid the tip) of your dick for added fun. Be careful! This is highly stimulating for you too.
This is your training. This is where you learn to first stand on the surfboard, and then to ride the waves of pleasure for longer and longer periods of time.
With these tips and your new understanding, you will change the way you approach sex and intercourse, and begin to create the good habits which lead to lifelong sexual exploration, fulfillment, intimacy, and fun.
